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The day me and Christopher met, its was like meeting the other half of you that you never knew was missing. I had just turned 13, it was early may and as soon as I seen him on that porch swing in those wranglers, that dixie outfitter shirt, and his John deer hat with that curly hair, I could feel these warm tingly butterflies all in my stomach and couldn't help but grin. We completely ignored our friend eli who tried to introduce us, and introduced ourselves and shook hands, completely civil but man was there some feelings running beneath the surface. From then on we hung out for 2 weeks before deciding to date on May 24, I was leaving for Missouri and I told him "If I have a reason to come back, I'll come back but who's going to be that reason" He looked me straight in the eye with that shit-eating grin and said "I will." Within a month talking over the phone long distance I was ready to be home, I walked 2 miles every day for signal to talk to him. I finally came home and we were head over heels for one another. He was still pretty rough at the time and he'd asked if he did this or that would it be alright, and I always said "I aint gonna tell you what to do, that's your choice, just know that I Love you so much" and before long I was his drug is what he always said. It frustrated him so much when everyone bugged him about bein on something when he was clean he wouldn't get mad but he'd get frustrated he'd always say, why'd i quit when everyone just says I'm still doin it, might as well live up to there expectation. I'd always tell him no, "Your smart, you can do anything you want with your life" So before we had knew it, we were camping out together every weekend, it was our escape from everyone and everything. We had a small radio and a cooler and we'd spend hours talking on end. The first time I ever spilled my secrets to Christopher, I cried my eyes out, and he held me the whole time comforting me letting me know that he was there to protect me and nothing bad would ever happen to me again.......so i thought. We wrote notes to each other every day, they would go from 1 page to 10 pages, talking about our future together, how we felt, how we missed each other and looked forward to every weekend we could have together. Before we knew it 3 years had passed full of adventures, some were dangerous, crazy and seemingly impossible but God was it FUN!!! All the summers of no worries and running around hanging out with our friends wishing for air conditioning in the car!! Soon I got pregnant, and Christopher hated doing this and he thought long and hard and I wish so hard for him that he could have stayed and done everything he ever wanted to do, but he quit school to support me and our to be child. He hated doing it but he knew he was a man and he was going to do whatever he had to, to give us a good life. I cried for him that day. I had a rough pregnancy but Chris was there every step of the way, a lil scared like me but a lot excited! There was a lot of stress, between working 6 days a week, and paying the bills and getting me to the places where I need to be but God did he Love me. Soon I gave birth 6 weeks early and Christopher was smiling the whole time, and he was like "Were having a Baby" at the time all I could do was stare at him like, what the hell? But it was the best experience of my life I could share with him, God all the expressions he made, when he seen that tiny black haired head. Soon we had to leave him at the hospital and that day as we said goodbye to our son he said " I never thought it would be so hard" and God did we cry together! We prayed the whole time more then we had ever done before. But soon after he got an infection, a flesh rotting infection, and it went downhill very fast. I was at his side constantly checking on him but he was my same ole chris cracking jokes when he could inbetween the pain. But one morning, he was gone and it is something I will NEVER forget discovering. It was like someone taking a hammer to your whole world and heart and shattering. I'll never forget the way it was watching them take him away from me. Soon after we cleaned out our trailer and all I could do was cry, the day before the funeral I went to get his clothes and I found his bowl of chicked noodle soup I had made him that had went untouched........ I bawled. I hated leaving our place it was the end of everything we had begun and I hadn't been alone in 3 years it was terrifying, but I know he is there, watching over me and his son keeping us safe, and our LOVE is FOREVER & ALWAYS |
