A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is! - Neugeboren 1976, 154

My Mom is a survivor, or so I've heard it said.

But I can hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.

I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.

She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.

But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...

I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day.

She wears a smile for others... a smile of disguise!

But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.

My mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.

But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.

As I watch over my surviving mom through Heaven's open door...

I try to tell her that angels protect me forevermore.

I know that doesn't help her... or ease the burden she bears.

So if you get a chance, go visit her... and show her that you care.

For no matter what she says... no matter what she feels.

My surviving mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal.

A few after.....

A few minutes after his birth..... I could hear his announcing scream. I couldn't believe he was finally here, The realization of my dream.

A few hours after his birth..... I held him so close to my chest. Somehow that little boy let me see, A special love that never left.

A few days after his birth..... I held his tiny little hand. I told him there would be lots of things That I would help him to understand.

A few weeks after his birth..... He had that sparkle in his eyes, And when he showed me that little smile, I thought that I would surely die.

A few months after his birth..... He was just beginning to learn. He didn't like me to go away, And he cried until I returned.

A few years after his birth...... I still couldn't believe he was mine. We talked and laughed and went for walks. We had so many special times..

A few after.....

A few minutes after his death..... I didn't know I needed to scream. I thought that he was still safe and here... I didn't know the truth of my dream.

A few hours after his death..... I felt a strangeness within my chest. Something was wrong that I couldn't see. God! I didn't know that he had left.

A few days after his death..... I held his cold and lifeless hand. There were just so very many things That I could not fully understand.

A few weeks after his death..... That sparkle stolen from my eyes, No longer to see his beautiful smile. I never, ever thought that he would die.

A few months after his death..... There was so much I needed to learn. I was confused when he went away, And I still waited for his return.

A few years after his death..... I still wish that he could be mine, To talk and laugh and go for walks. I miss those special moments in time.

A few after.....

A few minutes after MY death...... Once again I will hear him scream, "Hey Mom, it's me, I'm over here, And Mom, this time it's not a dream"

A few hours after MY death....... I'll hold him close again to my chest. He'll look at me and say... "Now see?", It doesn't seem so long since I left."

A few days after MY death..... He will gently take me by the hand, And show me all the glorious things, And help me to understand.

A few weeks after MY death..... I'll see that sparkle in his eyes. Once again he'll warm me with his smile, And say... "You see, Mom, I didn't die".

A few months after MY death....... Together we'll have so much to learn. We'll never have to go away, Or long for each other's return.

A few years after MY death..... Forever he will always be mine. We'll talk and laugh and go for long walks, Because we'll have nothing...... but time.

© 2003 - Christine Ross revised 2007

THE WHISPER OF AN ANGEL

The whisper of an angel

Can open Heaven's gate,

A glimpse of faith and courage

A love strong enough to wait.

Whisper you are safe

Whisper softly, angel love,

My heart is aching so

Needing comfort from above

Tell me you are with me

Whisper gently in my ear,

"You will always be my mommy"

In the quiet I will hear.

My heart still aches to hold you

I close my eyes and see,

Your face now,  four years later

And who you were to  be,

Though dreams I once held close

In the distance now, so far

Still you're more than just my child

You're the twinkle in the stars,

So I'll hear your angel whispers

"You never need let go,

Hold me, mommy, close within"

Though the pain and sorrow flow,

One day we shall reunite

Angels whisper words of grace,

And I promise I will hold you

in another time and place..

Joanne Cacciatore

(1998)